Advisor – the one who charges money for a piece of stock advice to cover his/her losses on the market.

Advisory Service – an advisor who lost a considerable amount of money and started new business.

Afternoon – a daily chance to give back the money you made that morning (see Friday).

Apprentice – anyone who peers at your screen shortly after you closed a profitable deal.

Average Down – what you have to do if you opened a long position and had to go to the bathroom.

Average Up – what you have to do if you opened a short position and had to go to the bathroom.

Bad Trade/Stupid Trade – an unprofitable deal that someone else carries out which does not fit your trading strategy.

Bottom – (when you have an open long position) the spot where you give up averaging down and sell; (when you have an open short position) the spot where the book recommends you to open a short position.

Break – a pause you take when you have either 2 profitable or 5 unprofitable deals in a row.

Broker – someone who studied hard and has a license to legally lose your money for a minute additional fee.

Canadian – the one who is short any stock you have.

Chart – what you check after you exit trading, trying to understand what went wrong.

Cheap Stock – a stock the price of which will decline as soon as you decide not to open a short position on it.

Confusion – 6 open positions.

Coyote Syndrome – when you feel an irresistible impulse to bite your own arm off so as not to click the mouse again.

Day Trading – trading which you start too late and exit too early.

Double Up – a phrase you employ to explain your open position after you accidentally bought more instead of selling what you had.

Down On The Day – a temporary situation until right after the next deal.

Excellent Company – any stock you know nothing about on which you carry out a profitable deal.

Excellent Long Term Investment – Position Trading that went the wrong way right after you opened a position.

Expensive Stock – a stock the price of which will rise as soon as you decide not to open a long position.

Expert – a newbie who has not begun to trade yet (see Licensed Expert).

Fossil – a rather aged dude, making less than 90 deals per day.

Freak – the one who can carry out three profitable deals in a row.

Friday – a weekly opportunity to give back everything you gained that week (see Afternoon).

Fundamental Analysis – the process of checking if you can open a short position on a stock.

Gap Up – a stock that has a higher opening price than a closing one was the day before, and will go down if you buy it, but will continue to go up if you sell it.

Genius – what you are in the eyes of an Apprentice if Lady Luck favours you 3 times in a row.

Halt (stock) – (an open position) impending really good news or really bad news, but anyway, the scariest thing possible to happen.

Highlight – selling into the rally while a dude on TV provides the complex reasons why the stock is special.

Home Run – every single deal you thoroughly consider, tell other traders about and then do not make yourself.

Huge Player – 1. A guy with over 15 thousand dollars left. 2. Any trader that has been in such a situation for more than three months.

Idiot – a fool that gives you his stock to cover your profitable short position.

INCA – (if a long position is open) some creep that puts up a 50,000 share offer right when you open a long positon; (if a short position is open) the same guy, opening a long position.

IPO – expensive cyanide.

IPO (Internet) – expensive cyanide flambé with sugar.

Joker – a professional who takes a break to laugh to himself (see Professional, Break).

Level 2 – the circle in Hell where Satan explains an extremely complicated way how to lose a great amount of money for a very short period of time.

Licensed Expert – a dude with a Series 7 license who has not started trading yet.

Loudmouth – 1. Anyone that says anything near you, while you are losing a deal. 2. A newbie who cannot pull the trigger at first, but finally does it, screaming: “Yahoo! It’s running!”

Lucky Deal – a profitable deal someone else made that does not fit your strategy much.

Lunch Money – what you waste away between 11 a.m. and 1 p.m. (ET).

Manager – a day trader who found out a Never Lose Trading System.

Margin – (if you are up) a safe situation with huge potential return (if you are down) an evil trick by Unseen Forces that can cause you losing more money than you have.

Margin Call – what happens when your clearing firm makes an accounting mistake.

Market Maker – the one who set up a secret video camera behind you and who takes the other side of each of your unprofitable trades.

Moron – a blockhead, buying your profitable long position.

Moving Average – a curly line that has nothing to do with the price movement if you have an open position.

Pain – exiting at loss, reversing your position on a stock and then watching it go the way you knew it would in the first place.

Position Trading – day trading that went the wrong way right after you took a position.

Pro – a guy at trading centre who says nothing and keeps smiling all the time (see Joker).

Scalping – losing only an eighth in one go.

Secret Deal – a deal that you do not tell about to the Apprentice when he asks you how you are doing.

Short List – a daily list of stocks that will rise and never pull back.

Short List Request – a request submitted to the clearing firm which contains a list of all stocks that you could open short positions on yesterday and tomorrow, but not today.

Short Squeeze – (when you have an open short position) when a person that you have never met before and that should not have anything against you attempts to hurt you and your family on purpose; (when you have an open long position) a proof that you are a true genius.

Special Situation – when you watch your losing stop limit go by and open a position of larger volume instead of exiting trading (see Long Term Investment).

Spread – (if a deal is profitable) sharing your wealth; (if a deal is unprofitable) a malicious market maker who rips you off.

System Trading – a phrase you employ to explain to the Apprentice how your trade did not work out the way you meant.

Technical Analysis – (traditional) a voodoo, the animal blood and chanting excluded; (Point and Figure) a really weird voodoo, the animal blood and chanting excluded.

Top – (when you have an open long position) the point on the chart where the stock price backs off fast before you get out; (when you have an open short position) the exact spot where you cover.

Trainer – the only man in the room who has never tried intraday trading in his life.

Trend Line – an imaginary line on the price chart that only changes when the market is closed or when you are not looking.

Up On The Day – what you are when the market closes, not taking into account ticket charges.

Uptick – (when you have an open long position) added hope; (when you have an open short position) a market maker, letting everyone else in; (if no positions are open) a good chance to lose some money through opening a short position.

Volume Spike – (an open position) confirmation that you are either the smartest person or the biggest idiot on Earth; (no positions are open) confirmation that you are the smartest person on the planet, but you were not paying attention.