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Corporate Lessons

CORPORATE LESSON 1

A man is getting into the shower just as his wife is finishing up her shower when the doorbell rings. The wife quickly wraps herself in a towel and runs downstairs. When she opens the door, there stands Bob, the next door neighbor. Before she says a word, Bob says, ‘I’ll give you $800 dollars to drop that towel.”

After thinking for a moment, the woman drops her towel and stands naked in front of Bob. After a few seconds, Bob hands her $800 dollars and leaves. The woman wraps back up in the towel and goes back upstairs. When she get to the bathroom, her husband asks, “Who was that?”

“It was Bob the next door neighbor” she replies.

“Great!” the husband says. “Did he say anything about the $800 he owes me?”

Moral of the story: If you share critical information pertaining to the credit and risk with your shareholders in time, you may be in a position to prevent avoidable exposure.


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CORPORATE LESSON 2

A sales rep, an administration clerk, and the manager are walking to lunch when they find an antique oil lamp. They rub it and a Genie comes out. The Genie says, “I’ll give each of you just one wish.”
“Me first! Me first!” says the admin. clerk. “I want to be in the Bahamas, driving a speedboat, without a care in the world.” Poof! She’s gone.
“Me next! Me next!” says the sales rep. “I want to be in Hawaii, relaxing on the beach with my personal masseuse, an endless supply of Pina Coladas and the love of my life.” Poof! He’s gone.
“OK, you’re up,” the Genie says to the manager. The manager says, “I want those two back in the office after lunch.”
Moral of the story: Always let your boss have the first say. (more…)

Don't Mess With Women

fact-Bottle of Wine
(Women will LOVE this one!)
A woman and a man are involved in a car accident on a snowy, cold Monday morning; it’s a bad one. Both of their cars are totally demolished, but amazingly neither of them is hurt. God works in mysterious ways. After they crawl out of their cars, the man is yelling about women drivers. The woman says, ‘So, you’re a man. That’s interesting. I’m a woman. Wow, just look at our cars! There’s nothing left, but we’re unhurt. This must be a sign from God that we should be friends and live in peace for the rest of our days.’
Flattered, the man replies, ‘Oh yes, I agree completely, this must be a sign from God! But you’re still at fault…women shouldn’t be allowed to drive..’
The woman continues, ‘And look at this, here’s another miracle. My car is completely demolished but this bottle of wine didn’t break. Surely God wants us to drink this wine and celebrate our good fortune.’
She hands the bottle to the man. The man nods his head in agreement, opens it and drinks half the bottle and then hands it back to the woman.
The woman takes the bottle, puts the cap back on and hands it back to the man.
The man asks, ‘Aren’t you having any?’
The woman replies, ‘No. I think I’ll just wait for the police…’

MORAL OF THE STORY:
Don’t mess with women.

Betting as seeing by stock operator

There is a story I heard long time ago

horse_betting

“A man comes to the race track and bets $10 on a horse.He wins, and bet entire amount again.He wins, and bet entire amount again.He wins, and …you know the drill by now.

So winning he keeps and finally has huge amount …and he bets it again And he loses, loses obscene amount of money.When he walks toward the exit of race track his friend stops him and asks: How did you do today?

Man answers: Not bad, I only lost $10.

 The moral of the story (beside of always setting aside part of your winnings ) is that you can only lose your initial stake and you have to be able to stay with the working trade.

Advice from Bob Knight

bobbykI don’t know much about basketball, but I do know that if you’re confronted with a chair-wielding maniac like Coach Bob Knight, that you should listen to him. Surprisingly, he was most interesting speaker I have heard in years. Rather than relay his career/professional tips, I’ll instead regurgitate three stories he told to prove his points….
An old man and his grandson are walking a donkey along the road when a car stops and the driver says, “hey old man, you should let your grandson ride on the mule”. So the kid jumps on and they carry on.
Soon enough, another car stops and the occupant says, “hey kid, get off that donkey, you should let the old man ride”. They swap places and continue on their way. (more…)

Women

MD116FJDo you know the relation between two eyes?

They never see each other………. BUT

They blink together
 
They move together
                                       
They cry together

They see things together
 
They sleep together
 
They share a very deep bonded relationship
 
However, when they see a woman, one will blink and another will not.
 

Moral of the story:  Woman can break any kind of relationship!!!

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