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Corporate Lessons

CORPORATE LESSON 1

A man is getting into the shower just as his wife is finishing up her shower when the doorbell rings. The wife quickly wraps herself in a towel and runs downstairs. When she opens the door, there stands Bob, the next door neighbor. Before she says a word, Bob says, ‘I’ll give you $800 dollars to drop that towel.”

After thinking for a moment, the woman drops her towel and stands naked in front of Bob. After a few seconds, Bob hands her $800 dollars and leaves. The woman wraps back up in the towel and goes back upstairs. When she get to the bathroom, her husband asks, “Who was that?”

“It was Bob the next door neighbor” she replies.

“Great!” the husband says. “Did he say anything about the $800 he owes me?”

Moral of the story: If you share critical information pertaining to the credit and risk with your shareholders in time, you may be in a position to prevent avoidable exposure.


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CORPORATE LESSON 2

A sales rep, an administration clerk, and the manager are walking to lunch when they find an antique oil lamp. They rub it and a Genie comes out. The Genie says, “I’ll give each of you just one wish.”
“Me first! Me first!” says the admin. clerk. “I want to be in the Bahamas, driving a speedboat, without a care in the world.” Poof! She’s gone.
“Me next! Me next!” says the sales rep. “I want to be in Hawaii, relaxing on the beach with my personal masseuse, an endless supply of Pina Coladas and the love of my life.” Poof! He’s gone.
“OK, you’re up,” the Genie says to the manager. The manager says, “I want those two back in the office after lunch.”
Moral of the story: Always let your boss have the first say. (more…)

Pepsi To Cease Advertising

‘We Know It’s Good, And That’s Enough’ Says CEO
Pepsi-To-R_article
PURCHASE, NY—PepsiCo sent shockwaves through the carbonated beverage industry Monday when the multibillion dollar corporation announced that it would cease all advertising of its popular soda product, effective immediately.

“We know it’s good, and everyone’s pretty happy with the overall taste, so why spend all our time worrying about what other people think?” PepsiCo CEO Indra K. Nooyi told reporters during a press conference at the company’s corporate headquarters. “Frankly, it just feels sort of weird and desperate to put all this energy into telling people what to drink. If they don’t like it, then they don’t like it.”

Added Nooyi, “That’s not really any of our business anyway.”

According to Nooyi, top PepsiCo brass held a series of meetings over the past several months before unanimously agreeing Monday that they all enjoyed Pepsi, and that the company’s century-old history of massive, high-budget ad campaigns, cross-promotional tie-ins, merchandising, and Super Bowl halftime extravaganzas had been “a big mistake.” (more…)

Buffett builds Munich Re stake

Munich_ReWarren Buffett, the US investor, has expanded his reinsurance holdings by becoming one of the largest shareholders in industry giant Munich Re. Buffett has built a stake worth €660m ($934m) in the German reinsurer, according to a market announcement triggered when his stake rose above 3%. It makes him the second-largest investor in Munich Re, after US asset manager BlackRock with almost 4.6%.

Top 10 Lessons from the Lehman Collapse

Sunday is the five year anniversary of the bankruptcy of Lehman.  So what have we learnt?

1 – Bank executives lie…

…they also got paid huge amounts, weren’t as smart as they thought they were and those that ended up at the top tended to be deeply flawed individuals…

On Sept 10 in a conference call with investors, days before Lehman collapsed, Dick Fuld clearly stated to his shareholders that “no new capital was needed” and that “real estate and investments were properly valued”. Yet only five days later, Lehman filed for bankruptcy.

 

At a congressional Committee just a few weeks later, Dick Fuld was defiant. He stood by his “no new capital was needed” statement: “no sir, we did not mislead investors”. And he added that “we (made) disclosures that we believed were accurate”. If no new capital was needed why did Lehman go bust five days later? And if he didn’t know the financial position of Lehman what was he doing as CEO?

As part of the Congressional Committee hearings, Dick Fuld was allowed to make a presentation before he was questioned. These are his exact words as to the cause of Lehman’s demise:

“Naked short sellers targeted financial institutions and spread rumours and false information. The impact of this market manipulation became self-fulfilling as short sellers drove down the stock prices of financial firms. The ratings agencies lowered their ratings because lower stock prices made it harder to raise capital and (it) reduced financial flexibility. The downgrades in turn caused lenders and counter parties to reduce credit lines and then demand more collateral which increased liquidity pressures. At Lehman Bros the crisis in confidence that permeated the markets lead to an extraordinary run on the bank. In the end despite all of our efforts we were overwhelmed.” (more…)

How Mohnish Pabrai Crushed The Market By 1100% Since 2000

Mohnish Pabrai’s long-only equity fund has returned a cumulative 517% net to investors vs. 43% for the S&P 500 Index since inception in 2000.  That’s outperformance of 474 percentage points or 1103 percent. [Disclosure: I and/or some of my clients are long Pabrai’s fund or specific holdings within his fund.]

To anticipate your next question: Yes, his fund is closed to new investors.  But there is still hope.  Read on — sadist that I am, I put the answer at the end

Pabrai is a classic value investor in the tradition of Warren Buffett, Charlie Munger, Seth Klarman and Joel Greenblat. I recently had an opportunity to hear him talk and thought I’d pass along some of my bright yellow highlighting.

How to start investing (more…)