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7 Simple Ways To Say “No”

  
Education, Life
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1. “I can’t commit to this as I have other priorities at the moment.”

If you are too busy to engage in the request/offer, this will be applicable. This lets the person know your plate is full at the moment, so he/she should hold off on this as well as future requests. If it makes it easier, you can also share what you’re working on so the person can understand better. I use this when I have too many commitments to attend to.

2. “Now’s not a good time as I’m in the middle of something. How about we reconnect at X time?”

It’s common to get sudden requests for help when you are in the middle of something. Sometimes I get phone calls from friends or associates when I’m in a meeting or doing important work. This method is a great way to (temporarily) hold off the request. First, you let the person know it’s not a good time as you are doing something. Secondly, you make known your desire to help by suggesting another time (at your convenience). This way, the person doesn’t feel blown off.

3. “I’d love to do this, but …”

I often use this as it’s a gentle way of breaking no to the other party. It’s encouraging as it lets the person know you like the idea (of course, only say this if you do like it) and there’s nothing wrong about it. I often get collaboration proposals from fellow bloggers and business associates which I can’t participate in and I use this method to gently say no. Their ideas are absolutely great, but I can’t take part due to other reasons such as prior commitments (#1) or different needs (#5).

4. “Let me think about it first and I’ll get back to you.”

This is more like a “Maybe” than a straight out “No”. If you are interested but you don’t want to say ‘yes’ just yet, use this. Sometimes I’m pitched a great idea which meets my needs, but I want to hold off on committing as I want some time to think first. There are times when new considerations pop in and I want to be certain of the decision before committing myself. If the person is sincere about the request, he/she will be more than happy to wait a short while. Specify a date / time-range (say, in 1-2 weeks) where the person can expect a reply.

If you’re not interested in what the person has to offer at all, don’t lead him/her on. Use methods #5, #6 or #7 which are definitive.

5. “This doesn’t meet my needs now but I’ll be sure to keep you in mind.”

If someone is pitching a deal/opportunity which isn’t what you are looking for, let him/her know straight-out that it doesn’t meet your needs. Otherwise, the discussion can drag on longer than it should. It helps as the person know it’s nothing wrong about what he/she is offering, but that you are looking for something else. At the same time, by saying you’ll keep him/her in mind, it signals you are open to future opportunities. (more…)

Is market a battlefield for you?

  
  Education
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Have you ever heard something like “The market is a battle, be ready to fight with all you’ve got,” or “The market is a war,” or any variation of this theme?  I bet you have, it’s a fairly common theme. But is it true, or better question might be: is this a mindset that you want to adopt? 
Don’t get me wrong – by no means do I want to present a marketplace as a happy place where  refined gentlemen high-five your each win (hmm, do refined gentlemen high-five at all? or they back-slap only?) and console you with fine whiskey and cigar after each loss. No, they are out to get you just as much as you – them. In that sense, anyone in the market is an enemy of anyone else. But that’s not really the point. The point is, is kind of attitude toward the marketplace and its happenings going to help you survive it, navigate it successfully? Or is it going to undermine your success? 
 
If the market is war for you, you are going to be in the fighting mode all the time. Can you function well for long in a constant fight mode? It’s extremely tense mode which is going to wear you out rather quickly. Instead, allow me to offer you a very different attitude – one where a market is a natural environment for a trader – environment where certain patterns govern all the comings and goings. Is it a dangerous place for a trader? Of course it is. Think of it as of ocean. It’s a dangerous place to be and swimming in it is a dangerous thing to do – just as trading the markets.

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What Happens in Your Brain When Your Market View Is Completely Wrong

  
  Education
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Eric Barker has a new article (link here) on how to win every argument. The article had a point which made me think whether the same situation happens in trading.

So it quoted an experiment by psychologist Drew Westen, which showed to supporters, footage of their favorite candidates completely contradicting himself. The experiment found that as soon as the people realized that the information contradicted their world view, the parts of the brain that handle reason and logic went dormant, while the parts of the brain that handle hostile attacks – the fight-or-flight response – lit up. Essentially logic gets thrown out the window, and it just becomes a fight where you do anything to win.

A similar situation occurs in trading, when you have a certain expectation of how the market should behave. E.g. you might for various reasons, think that the market will go up. So when the market does not follow what you expect, you might initially make up excuses for it. However when the market continues to go completely in the opposite direction of what you expect, your logic and reasoning centers would shut down, your fight-or-flight response kicks in, you treat it like a hostile attack on you, and you would do anything to win (or not lose), e.g. keep averaging down. I’m sure this sequence of events led to many traders blowing up their accounts. It is pretty interesting that the experiment showed this as a ‘natural expected’ behavior.

As always, trade what you see, not what you think.

What is real?

  
Analysis, Education
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This is a question I find is increasingly important to me in my continuous process of learning this subject. In fact there are two, what is real and what is common?

Its like this. You read everything, look at a million systems, read books, try things. Its a total mess. However you start to pick out singular bits and pieces that you can definitely say are real.

For instance, I eventually came to the conclusion that support and resistance was real. Sound ridiculous I know, you’d say “of course its real!” – yes its true, but it depends on how you are determining what is support and resistance, because there are a million ways.

However after much experimentation and thought, I finally arrived at my way of determining these levels and I know its real. It works. It is one tool that I am totally sure of and I do not have to really spend time on that subject anymore. Its in the bag. I will probably use this method for the rest of my life.

There are others also, but this is how (I think) you begin to construct your trading method and style. Also, you may read about a hundred other peoples systems and then recognise that they have one core common theme. It may be (for instance) pull backs to an EMA. Despite the infinite variations, all of these systems you can group together and call them EMA pullback systems. You can then determine that there is something in it, but what? It then becomes a process of experimentation with the idea until you arrive at the method that works for you in this regard.

So out of the mess, you pick out core ideas to test and examine. Due to my increasing interest in news trading I have been reading as much as I can from other traders about this on the forums, books and ebooks etc. Even though they bitch and argue and debate, you can see one or two core similarities that are probably the key to what ever successful results they have, and its these that you want to zero in on.

The Market as a Mirror

  
  Education

The yogis say our true nature is joy.  When we’re laughing and truly having fun, perhaps that’s when we’re most being ourselves – and not the product of something else.

 It is easy to be jocular and personable when things are going well, but you get to see who you really are when things are going badly. The energy required to maintain interpersonal facade is redirected toward survival. The market is a very good mirror. And a very bad one.

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Who you really are is very much like a stock in Portfolio Theory. The good side is the rate of return, but most compare that with the additional information of the standard deviation of the returns.

Similarly a person should be measured along the same lines. The person who is happy go lucky most of the time but occasionally has bouts of violent anger is not as desirable a friend as one who is relatively constant but with lesser high points.

Each person responds differently to stimulus. And as with stocks it is the bad side that is most important. Someone who is in a funk for a long time has the risk of getting clinically depressed, with physiological damage to the synapses.

I always liked the saying that “not all great companies are great stocks”. Forgot who coined that one–maybe from the Livermore books that I have read. Meaning that the stock of the good company may not act or behave well for speculation. In general, it is interesting how stocks are given human qualities by specs.

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