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The Devil's Dictionary Of Financial Terms

  
  Education
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dictionary1agency, n. A criminally negligent organization that purchased and securitized mortgages; a criminally negligent organization that rated mortgages and mortgage securities. The agencies were late in downgrading the Agencies.

 

 bailout, n. A notorious regressive tax; the public underwriting of stupid bets made by overpaid morons. Can you believe their bonus pool was $16 billion a year after the bailout?

bail out, v. To selflessly save the global economy from depression and mass unemployment. If we hadn’t bailed out AIG, the unemployment rate would be 25% right now!

bubble, n. Part of the dual mandate; the monetary policy goal of the Federal Reserve and the People’s Bank of China.

carry trade, n.  A financial proposition that concludes with its adherents supine, carried out on a stretcher.

CDS, n. The simultaneous purchase of kindling, lighter fluid, matches, and fire insurance on your neighbour’s house.

conspiracy, n. The only possible explanation for certain types of irrational price action. There’s a government conspiracy to support the stock market; how else could it have rallied 70% since March? A crackpot theory held by nutjobs who can’t admit when they’re wrong. Have those conspiracy theory whackos never heard of an oversold bounce before?

credit, n. An asset universally reviled by financiers during a crisis and claimed by politicians after it.

crisis, n. A frequently occurring one-in-a-lifetime event, generally deemed impossible by those under the age of 28.

exotic, adj. Strange; unusual; rarely-seen. I didn’t think it was possible to lose $200 million in fifteen minutes, but the exotics book just did.

hedge, n. A line of closely-grouped shrubberies; a clever way of adding correlation and volatility risk to one’s portfolio.

hedge, adj. A type of investment fund generally accepted to be dedicated to the proposition of ignoring hedges of every description.

house, n. An abode; an investment. Formerly an asset, now a liability.

leverage, n. The act of turning your problem into our problem.

mine, adj. Trader-speak for a desire to make a purchase. 50 EUR/USD mine, shagger. The sole source of responsibility (and thus the rewards) for a successful trade.

option, n. A financial instrument that offers multiple ways of losing money. If being long vega doesn’t kill you , the decay will.

quantitative easing, n. An unorthodox monetary policy that targets increases in high-powered money rather than interest rates; the act of throwing sufficient sums at the financial system to ensure that the stock market starts to rally.

restraint, n. An undesirable spending habit rarely observed in public; an offense punishable by a targeted taxation regime.

risk, n. A binary analytical framework for the simpleminded; can be either off or on. A characteristic of investment that was largely forgotten in the mid-Noughties

SAFE, n. An organization dedicated to perpetuating dangerous global imbalances.

sales, n. The art of separating a customer from his money.

seat, n. The world’s most valuable furniture; a place at a market-making franchise desk at a bank. Fred made $15 million quoting prices last year, but the seat is worth $25 million!

subprime, n. An ingenious method of granting credit to the poor, thereby narrowing the wealth gap between the classes. Dick Fuld lost $650 million after Lehman’s subprime bets went sour.

volatile, adj. The temperament of your average trader on a bad day; the likely future state of financial markets after long periods of low interest rates.

Warren Buffett, n. Ebenezer Scrooge with better PR.

yacht, n. A monetary black hole; an aquatic trophy rarely seen in close proximity to banking customers.

yours, adj. Trader-speak for a desire to make a sale. 500 e-minis, yours!! Whose responsibility the average bank, insurance company, or housing agency thinks it is to pay for the financial crisis.

Another Massively Interactive European Chart

  
Analysis, Economy, Education
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With all chart porn these days focusing on Europe, the Economist may have outdone itself with this combo set of all key financial and economic statistics for European countries.

Here is the caption provided by the Economist:

 
 

EUROPE is damned if it does and damned if it doesn’t, fiscally speaking. Fears that Greece’s debt crisis presage similar episodes elsewhere in the euro zone—notably in Portugal and Spain—have sent sovereign-bond yields for several southern European countries drifting higher, and have fuelled fears about the exposure of Europe’s banks to indebted governments. Attempts to rein in the public finances may calm bond markets but they also risk weakening growth, which makes life more difficult for exporters in places like China and America, and spells trouble of a different kind for the banks.

The interactive graphic above underlines some of the problems that the European economy faces. In 2009 only Poland of the 27 countries in the European Union managed to record positive growth. Although many countries have now returned to growth, it is generally anaemic. In many countries unemployment rates have not risen as much as you might expect given the depth of the crisis—there are times when making it hard to fire people has some advantages. But the flipside of labour-market rigidity is that the unemployment rate may be “sticky”, because firms have less need to hire as recovery takes hold. That will keep demand growth subdued.

Mediocre growth rates are more of a problem for some countries than others. They spell particular trouble for those that have high levels of debt and that do not have the option to devalue their currencies. That explains why Greece was first to lose the confidence of the markets: with a public-debt-to-GDP ratio of 115% and a budget deficit of 13.6% in 2009, it was the euro zone’s outlier country. Other countries are now scrambling to avoid Greece’s fate. Ireland, another heavily indebted euro-zone member, embarked on austerity early; Portugal and Spain, whose problems stem as much from levels of external and private debt as from government borrowing, have had their hands forced. Others still are pruning before the markets exert real pressure: Britain’s debt has the longest maturity of any EU member but it is still aiming to get its finances in order within four savage years.

Full chart after the jump

Job Losses Accelerate

  
Analysis, Education, US Market
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JobWanted

Good morning. The long-awaited jobs report is out and it came as worse than expected (as Goldman predicted). 263,000 jobs were lost and unemployment rate came in at 9.8%. Futures were trading lower ahead of the report and have stayed that way since.

Other news include the World Bank’s warning of a wobble ahead for the global economy, a strong dollar is very important to Geithner, Bernanke suggests a Board of Regulators, Meredith Whitney says small business credit crunch continues and Comcast & NBC are apparently in deal talksAt 10:AM we have Factory Orders for August and news of the Chicago Olympic Bid will also come out today between 12:30PM to 1:PM EST.

Already this fall I had expected and written to have cautious approach.Now just will watch S&P 500.Below 1031 will take to 1014-1009 level and there after retest of 991 level.

Will update more about DOW ,Nasdaq Compostite and S&P very shortly.

Iam personally Bearish for Stocks/Commodity from last 15 days and will not buy anything.

Technically Yours

Anirudh Sethi

 

 

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