Two Palestinians boarded a flight out of London. One took a window seat and the other sat next to him in the middle seat.. Just before takeoff, a rabbi sat down in the aisle seat. After takeoff the rabbi kicked his shoes off, wiggled his toes and was settling in when the Palestinian in the window seat said, ‘I need to get up and get a coke. ”Don’t get up,’ said the rabbi, ‘I’m in the aisle seat, I’ll get it for you.’ As soon as he left, one of the Palestinians picked up the rabbi’s shoe and spat in it.. When the Rabbi returned with the coke, the other Palestinian said, ‘That looks good I’d really like one, too.’ Again, the rabbi obligingly went to fetch it. While he was gone the other Palestinian picked up the rabbi’s other shoe and spat in it. When the rabbi returned, they all sat back and enjoyed the flight. As the plane was landing, the rabbi slipped his feet into his shoes and knew immediately what had happened. He leaned over and asked his Palestinian neighbors: ‘Why does it have to be this way? How long must this go on? This fighting between our nations? This hatred? This animosity? This spitting in shoes and pissing in cokes?’
Archives of “rabbi” tag
rssThe business end of the bible
A Jewish businessman was in a great deal of trouble.His business was failing and he had put everything he had into the business.
He owed everybody and it was so bad he even contemplated suicide.
As a last resort he went to a Rabbi and poured out his story of tears and woe.
When he finished, the Rabbi said, “Here’s what I want you to do”.
Put a beach chair and your bible in your car and drive down to the beach.
Take the beach chair and the bible to the water’s edge. Sit down in the chair and put the bible in your lap.
Open the bible: The wind will riffle the pages, but finally the open Bible will come to rest on a page.
Look down at the page and read the first thing you see.
That will be your answer, that will tell you what to do.
A year later the businessman went back to the Rabbi and brought his wife and children with him.
The man was in a new custom-tailored suit, his wife in a mink coat, the children shining.
The businessman pulled out an envelope stuffed with money out of his pocket, gave it to the Rabbi as a donation in thanks for his advice.
The Rabbi recognized the benefactor, and was curious. “You did as I suggested?” he asked.
“Absolutely”, replied the businessman.”
“You went to the beach?”
“Absolutely”.
“You sat in a beach chair with the Bible in your lap?”
“Absolutely?”
“You let the pages riffle until they stopped?”
“Absolutely?”
“And what were the first words you saw?”
“CHAPTER 11”.