Funniest Stock Broker Quotes

“Even though your friend likes the stock thinking people will always need underwear, we have a Sell on the stock, it’s still very, very discretionary spending.”
Broker on the phone to a client.
“Should I ask my girlfriend to live with me?”
 “Not if you want to make her happy.”
 Floor conversation.
“I decided to bring my lunch in, instead of buy it. Times are tough.”
 “What have you got?”
Floor conversation.
“This market is worse than divorce. I’ve lost half my wealth, but I still have my wife.”
 Broker on the phone to a client.
 “The guy says…I need you to…and then he stops because he has to think and talk at the same time.”
Floor conversation. 
 “I’ll do it mate, you can pay me money to do it, but you’re not going to make any money out of it” (more…)
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