Types of People and Views on Market

What are the many types of people who disseminate their views about the market? What are the major categories that I am missing or what is a better way to classify and make this useful?”

No doubt, there is a book to be done on the subject. That said…

This list is presented in order of published appearance. A caveat: “many fall into more than one category and mobile via age and wealth changes.”

The Connected Person, who makes you feel without saying it that she/he is or will be connected to the very lynch pin of policy at the Interior or some such.

Tout, who has position and wants you in for his/her favor.

Sponsor, who advertises or sponsors programs that treat him/her well.

Would-be-manager without funds impresses with his/her knowledge/ideas for you to join.

Old lion
, who is not virile but still fights younger from replacing him/her in power/ romance.

, who hates everything modern and wants all back to old days before tech.

Spankist, a beauty but aggrieved to give spanking unless things in order her/his way; observed to be everywhere and influence growing among spankisto and spankista’s.

, who is always contrary, never reads papers or travels, and feels market is wrong.

Hole-In-Shoes, who only drinks coke and eats hamburgers, never pays a fee more than 10%.

Sanctimonious, who pretends to be honest while blind to any firm dishonesty/misdoing.

, who manipulates numbers retrospectively to allure investors.

Mystic, who looks at stars and bent keys.

Old Timer, who is guided by iron castings reports and freight car loadings and newsprint figures [sample]: all as timeless methods (non retro) with healthy respect for knowledge.

Fund Manager, who is quoted as “good buy” on stock that he/she sold bulk of before recall.

Jack of All Trades
, who explains every rise and decline due to (un)certainty about earnings and rates and other well chosen factors. Always welcome on TV because of his versatility.

Chronic Bear, who since 1966 written bearish columns with signs of optimism persisting.

Humanitarian, who finds world as selfish with only solution to be redistribution or service for poor.

The Mark, who in hushed tone, glazed eyes, reveals privileged information so as to be rich.

The Friend
, who can see “the tells” tells and tells deaf ears to exit before pocket emptied.

Permabull type likes market anywhere, anytime, well coiffed, strong BUY to partner.

Foreign Funder, who likes exotic as better value with more room for catch-up valuations.

Eminent Bank of Sweden Prize Laureates, who are trotted out by others to do the thinking.

Walter Mittyist, who is market hobbyist with secret hopes: a market philanderer.

Split-Level Dwellers, who favor inheritance taxes as the absolute “down home”

Go-Pound-Sterling types…

Delusional-Vengefulites, who are too full of themselves to see beauty of system they seek to destroy.

Boorish Loud-Mouthed Bellower of Blab, who mastered costumes and adorn picks equally garishly.

Echoing Silence of Financial Pressers
, who never explain major market move until after.

Small Echoing Would-Be-Manager, who remains silent due to fear of publicly humiliation and reverse engineer techniques she/he developed in long years of lonely silence.

Nock’s Prophet of The Remnant, who with absolute assurance, has no need to advertise and makes own way without adventitious aids.

The Whodoos, the jinxes…

The Joe Bfstlks of the world…

The Ralph Kramdens, who, despite good intentions, are just plain unlucky, thus dangerous to associate with.

Poseurs, who in empty suits may be the French equivalent of “Big hat no cattle” in Texas.

Abstaining Cooks, who never eat their own meals or go in on their own stock recommendations.

Thief a la Bernie Madoff or Lex Luthor, who take the shortcut to wealth: brilliant yet totally corrupt.

Blowhard a la Jim Cramer, who “made $100 million” with results not quantifiable.

Former Champion a la Bob Prechter
, Joe Granville, or Stan Weinstein…

Celebrity a la Len Dykstra

Former-Wrestler-Who-Marries-The-Analyst, John Layfield…

The Foreigner, whose suave language skills are so impressive that he/she must know.

Self-Deprecating Genius

Infomercial Guy,
who is ubiquitous.

The Consummate Professional
, who as the active operator prognosticates on everything from currencies to value/growth trends, providing decent performance for years.

Lone Sailor, who keeps going with no one to blame for loses or wins but oneself.

Optimistic College Student, who realizes some stocks will never be this cheap again.

, who has with wine prices outperformed equities.

New Chartist, who believes future wealth is guaranteed by angles and lines on their screen.

Saboteur, who finds fault with every issue in your portfolio.

Blind Gamble, who is neither bullish nor bearish, fully leveraged or not in, thus travels the road between wealth and poverty as driving a car to work. `

Afraid-Of-His-Own-Shadow Commentator
, who measures and comments on every tick, trusts nothing, always on a business news channel or radio program about how to trade.

Conspiracy Theorist, who believes that “the banksters”/HFT traders/dark pool operators/PPT have totally rigged the market because this can’t be happening on it’s own.

Cloud Commentarist
, who all have related typologies and vanish into the infrastructure or “the market.”

, who “thought” counting overcomes asymmetry between all edges that the boys, who made the rules and made the market, had over oneself as the optimistic contrarian.

Guy With A Theory
, who (is me and perhaps a few others, such as those on Tradestation Forum) has no real world (trading) experience, an outsider of the industry, and is dangerous more so to oneself by virtue of knowing a little bit but will not give up.

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